Once upon a time, there was a jackass named Paul Brockmeyer...
Former child actor, Olympic athlete, humanitarian, ladies man: Paul Brockmeyer is none of these. He is, rather, an introverted computer jockey turned small-time entrepreneur trying to exploit capitalism by taking money from the system without inputting work. So far, this has not been successful. He thinks that writing his biography in the 3rd person makes it sound more important.
Paul grew up in rural Missouri – a small town of 144 people. Being a product of this environment, he has an affinity for fireworks and power tools. He has hypnotized a chicken and built a 7' tall trebuchet. Paul loves his family, and is the oldest of five kids.
After an auspicious career as a mathlete in high school, Paul graduated from a university for ivy-league-wannabes with degrees in mathematics and computer science. His success in academic endeavors can probably be attributed to his Type A personality, rather than high-level thinking skills, though he may argue otherwise.
Not really knowing what else to do, he started a company. It's doing pretty well, though he often wishes he built something cooler than commercial real estate software. He gets excited thinking about neuroscience & human memory, information architecture, and historical preservation.
To take his mind off what he's not contributing back to society, Paul likes to travel to 3rd world countries pretending to be Canadian. His first trip overseas was to Thailand, where he was suckered into buying a large sapphire. He's hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu in Peru and spent some time in the Amazon where he was almost trampled by wild boars. He and Adam were mugged by militant Maoists on the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal. He's climbed Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, hugged a 20-pound bag of Fruit Loops in Costa Rica, hiked on the John Muir Trail, and has been to most of the US National Parks.
Paul is currently trying to sell a house that he's fixed up in Chicago. He's married to his special lady friend, who teaches Kindergarten and used to be a big-time volleyball star. They're very happy together and are expecting a wee Brockmeyer in the Spring. They'll be moving soon to their new place in the Compton Heights neighborhood of St. Louis.
Paul's ultimate goal was to make some dough early in life so that he could wander around doing interesting things that benefit humanity before settling down to breed. Time, however, is running out and Paul Brockmeyer is a jackass.